Sunday, October 17, 2021

Deeper into October

And was it, in the end, a joy? What promises did you make without even intending to keep them? I had dreams, vivid ones, and in each of them I was traveling through a country in which people were vaguely troubled - many unexplained deaths, many unexplained disappearances - and they wondered briefly - dispiritedly - if I was there to help, which I was not. Reruns, advertising. Robot dogs, drone weapons, facial recognition software - we live in dystopia and deny it every day, which denial is all dystopia needs. Hot sun lasting deeper into October than usual. Imagine a world in which they figure out how to tax each breath. Asters in hand. The way it works is I move a bunch of books around on the desk in order to clear a space to write. Blown glass ornaments catching the light. A child offers you a maple leaf - what do you do? Christ trying to wipe the tears from your face with his broken hands is how you realize the point all along wasn't to be consoled but to do the hard part - the grief part - yourself. 

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