Sunday, March 1, 2020

You Could Miss Them if You Wanted

In a dream I lied but did not realize it was a lie until later in what felt like another dream. Describing my spiritual journey as "alchemy en route to chemistry" and not getting the expected response. What light allows this and other sentences to be evaluated? When we speak, the errors we make are not spelling errors and this too can helpfully inform one's writing practice. The chickens natter when I go in to the barn at dawn, a pleasant sound to which I almost always murmur "good morning" or "yes" or "hey there." The world welcomes us welcoming it? Maturana's emphasis on love was resolutely biological and in that sense, I have been a poor disciple, given as I am to the abstraction and idealization of romance. At a late juncture, one realizes that vows of any kind are a signal unbecoming those of us whose concept of love is necessarily entangled with our concept of the Lord. You see the problem? [The height of the hill is the depth of the valley] is less interesting when one understands the whole thing as yet another distinction and turns instead to the one who - or maybe that which - distinguishes. I've given offense, yes, but always in the service of trying to learn something that will be helpful to others. If my nose was glued to the map, it's free now. One looks up from writing to see snow falling, the flakes so tiny you could miss them if you wanted.

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