Sunday, November 30, 2014

A Red Blush I Instantly Loved

The belief that we are something (good or bad, a poet or a seamstress, a sister or a lover) is different from the name we give that something. The latter is a matter of convenience - beautiful communication -  but the former can screw us worse than those years of booze and sleeping in the park. Oh holy night indeed. I paused where the deer had kicked at the snow to get to fallen apples, the few remaining a red blush I instantly loved. Paused, too, where the hill crested near the old parsonage and looked out over the landscape that is shifting so fast it might as well be a dream. Headed back thinking if I wasn't so Zen I'd think that somebody ought to kick that dreamer's sorry ass. The puer in me is repulsed by the doggedness, the tedium, of writing, and also by my willingness to dog her for attention. Dignity avails the lonely nothing! A lot begins at the throat and then you have a decision to make, i.e., where to kiss next, and don't think I haven't got a preference. She said I was softer in person, as if my sentences were merely defensive, and I liked that, I held onto it, I "ate it up." Icicles never melt the way you plan but wordiness goes on forever. Distance and waiting are two parts of a holy tryptich. I never met a dog I didn't love or a dog owner I didn't judge. The altar is everywhere but it can take a while to see it, huh?


  1. I love your writing and look forward to every word. If I could be so bold to ask....but what do you mean " The altar is everywhere but it can take a while to see it"?

  2. Hi Barbara,

    Thanks for the kind words. I'm sorry to be answering your question a bit late; I am somewhat tossed and turned of late in terms of my schedule!

    I love to talk about writing, mine or anyone else's, and so it's lovely to be asked and I'm happy to answer.

    At the simplest level, I think I am just saying that the Divine is everywhere - or that glimpses of it can be perceived everywhere (as if a faint reflection of God were shimmering through all phenomena). And this visibility represents an altar - that is, a place that we can approach in order to meet and be united (or remember that we are united) with God.

    I am saying - or implying or suggesting - that wherever we go, we are there, because the altar is not really a place but a way of seeing - a way of perceiving reflecting a habit of thinking that is premised not on separation or fragmentation but on a sense of underlying unity and wholeness.

    And it takes a while for us to see this! We are used to separation! So we don't see the cardinal as anything other than a pretty red bird (you can insert your beloved images and et cetera here). We just see the bird. But slowly, our thinking begins to shift, and it stops relying to much on separation of observer and observed, and begins to reflect wholeness. And then the cardinal is not a cardinal, but literally a witness unto Beauty and Love and Life itself.

    Oddly, it is also just a cardinal . . . and that is part of what is so amazing and inspiring (in the literal sense of filling us up with spirit) . . .

    Anyway, that is a sort of long-winded and convoluted answer to your simple question!

    I have written about it in thoughtful more detail here and here, if you are interested . . .

    Thank you so much!