Friday, May 23, 2014

Prismatic Aperture

They will not close the doors of Heaven because there are no doors because there are no walls within which to frame doors. Be the prismatic aperture you know you are in truth! Yet another talkative male who professes - without a hint of humility - to understand Wittgenstein's Tractatus.

While I am a yam yodeling om. All the way home? Well, now is not the time for apples, though one does feels a certain soulful tilt in the direction of berries and rhubarb.

One gets very close to Emily Dickinson on the cusp of sleep and then dreams of handwritten poems, the generous circular cursive floating off the page, smoking through the air. The great tragedy in any century is a proliferation of scriptural certainty. I can't decide if "foolscap" or "lilac" belongs in the next line.

We slip into fantasy, we consent to psychological injury. Versailles haunts in the sense of just how greedy a man can become. Don't never outgrow love letters.

"If you could be any Christmas carol, which one would you be" she asked at dinner and I said - without it being my turn - "Dickens of course - is there any other option" to which she replied "kindly refrain from being such a pompous ass" which made everybody laugh and a couple days later over coffee I asked if she would mind if I asked her to marry me to which she said "no and yes in that order." When my father sold his last tractor he cried a little behind the garage and waved me away when I moved towards him. Narrative is the good lover but not the best lover.

Trimming blackberry bushes, assessing the old lilac whose leaves are lovely but upon whose limbs not a single blossom shows. Hugs that surprise you with their intensity! How lovely to live in a home where Fur Elise is played with such care, such elegance, such a sense of space in which the notes themselves redound.

It is not the worst thing in the world to be known around town as an enthusiastic reader of Shakespeare. Nor to remain willing to ask Jesus for help and perceive assistance accordingly.


  1. Spent yesterday hitting the highlighted links allowing them to take me to the next read. I'm here again today and this is only the second post and I must stop to comment.

    “kindly refrain from being such a pompous ass” which made everybody laugh and a couple days later over coffee I asked if she would mind if I asked her to marry me to which she said “no and yes in that order.”

    The vulnerability, the levity, the perfect example that special relationships are sacred and holy. That is what I see. I even took a moment and pictured it all Hollywood style ~ the table settings, perfect back lighting and close ups of subtle glances and eyebrow raising by your invited guests.

    You found your match and the world applauds!

    And now your home is filled with music.
    To this day Fur Elise stops me in my tracks.

    Your mind so agile ~ your heart so open, its no wonder you have difficulty sleeping.

    I close my eyes and join you in asking Jesus for help.
    You do know how to be humble and quite frankly it means all the more when it comes from a pompous ass. So you were blessed with a mind that can understand Wittgenstein’s Tractatus. I on the other hand had to google up Ludwig to see what the fuss was about. Damn, you are one smart mofo!

    Still, I feel your equal when I surrender and ask to hear and see with only my heart.

    Enjoying this dance with you.
    And thanks for sharing your heart, your mind, your soul!

    xoxo Annie

  2. Oh yes we are equals Annie! Very much so!

    Thank you for sharing - for being kind and funny in measure - I am very grateful. I'd forgotten about that particular twenty sentences - it brings back some fond memories.