Wednesday, April 16, 2008

As Useful As It Seems

As usual, the voices in my head. The rattling sound the green keyboard makes. The tools you use to write matter. The moon rises early and disappears a little after midnight. Think of it over Ohio, where once the deer stood like statues beside the highway. The sound of trucks is nearly always lonely. Not when will we get there but how.

What is the significance of 5560. In the dream, all of the plants needed to be watered and hadn't been. The sound the water made leaking onto them. Later one's father saying in the voice unheard for over a year now "I wish I could have talked to you about it." Meaning a victory of some kind, but the dream was inflected with loss. A contest which had been lost.

When Hayden Carruth ate all those pills there was a darkness with streaks of gray (like worms? mica? tiny comets?) swirling through it. When the swirling stopped, he stopped (he wrote). All the religions in the world can't be right, so which is it. One recalls as a child pretending that kites were pet birds. Otherwise, not finding kites particularly attractive.

A list of chores is not as useful as it seems. A sense of duty is futile here.

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